What would you do in this "hypothetical" situation:
You are 'just riding along' on one of your favorite trails (like Timpooneke, for example), enjoying the cool air and prestine singletrack. You come across a couple of WalMart bikes stashed along side the trail, and you start to wonder why two bikes would be sitting here without their owners nearby, since there are no other trailheads or landmarks around. In the corner of your eye, you see something moving around amongst the aspen and pine trees. As you ride by, you take a closer look. You are so shocked by what you see that it takes your brain a second or two to register what you are looking at:
Two people, both well qualified for the "Clydesdale division", one firmly grasping a poor and innocent aspen tree, going at it.
Yeah, that's right. IT.
I'm pretty sure that if Adam and I found ourselves in that "hypothetical" situation, Adam would yell "classy", and the only thing I could think up would be to yell at Adam to grab his camera (loud enough for the Clydesdales to hear). Then we would keep riding, because we'd be too sick to our stomachs, not to mention shocked, to think of doing anything else.
And then we'd spend the rest of the ride talking about what we should have done.
Oh, and while talking about how exactly a douchebag guy approaches his skanky girlfriend about performing such an act, Adam would yell in his loud and boisterous voice "Hey babe, I'm getting tired of riding these bikes. Wanna pull over and DO IT?", just as another rider (one of the only other riders we'd see all evening) would round the corner from the opposite direction. And then I'd try and explain (all too late) that Adam's comment was not directed toward me, but was instead a hypothetical conversation between said douchebag and said skank.
So again I ask. What would you do in this "hypothetical" situation? Because lets face it, anyone willing to perform such an act in a publicly visible area deserves to be mocked, ridiculed, and/or injured, right?
Island Park July 4
5 weeks ago