The following sign was posted on my door the other day while my bike was sitting in my office:
POLICY AND PROCEDURE 0031.7
(My Companys' Name) PROPERTY VIOLATION
You are in company violation
(Our Company's Landlord) has brought to our attention and to the attention of the Facilities and its Real-Estate team - YOU ARE IN COMPANY VIOLATION. According to our lease, storing bicycles in cubicles and offices is a direct violation. If it continues the Landlord has the right to retain your bicycles for 30 days of empundment [sic]. Your cost center has been charged $75.00 for this first-time offense. The landlord has requested for you to call 1.801.xxx.xxxx so we can expedite this charge and record its violation on your employee record. (My Company) advises persons who ride bikes to work to lock bikes on the racks provided outside the building for storing and securing bicycles.
Your cooperation and compliance with this request is greatly appreciated in the future.
Corporate Facilities Team
My initial thought was that it was a prank. I certainly would have had it coming to me. In fact, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. But the usual suspects were rather convincing in their denials, so the distinct possibility that this was serious crept into my mind.
I stewed about it over lunch. I was rather furious that my perfect routine of mixing long road and mountain bike rides with my commute to and/or from work may have a serious monkey wrench thrown in it. I cussed out the facilities team while visiting the bike shop during my lunch hours. I spent the drive back to the office formulating a list of arguments I planned on using when I talked to the facilities team.
When I got back into the office, I nervously called the number listed in the violation notice. Sure enough, my coworker's name popped up on the caller ID of my company telephone. I immediately hung up and ran over to that bastard's office. He saw that I called so he was waiting for me and already getting a good laugh at my expense. He got me. He got me good. He saw where I was vulnerable and took advantage. Let the office pranks begin!