Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Mother's Day Gift

With Mother's Day right around the corner, I'm sure I'm not the only person scrambling to find a gift that acts as a down payment for all the races and rides planned for the upcoming summer. Shoot, who am I kidding? For most of us, it's more like a small payment against an insurmountable pile of debt.

Well, I've found the perfect gift for you. As cyclists, most of us suffer from a disorder that plagues us as a consequence for our ability to consume amounts of food that most non-cyclists believe to be humanly impossible. It also doesn't help that burritos act as the main staple of our diets. Yes, I speak of flatulence. The experts will try and tell you that money and infidelity are the main causes of divorce. Let's not kid ourselves. Flatulence is the number one marriage killer.

So give your sweetheart the gift that keeps on giving. It might just save your marraige:

My wife let me in on this little secret. I wish I could say she was joking when she told me about it.


KanyonKris said...

Military grade, offending molecules - classy. Thanks for the laugh.

Nate said...

They missed one important part. Wafting! How can it battle Wafting or the ever so popular "dutch oven"? I guess if you do a dutch oven to your wife, your just asking for it. Good laugh.

Ski Bike Junkie said...

Does it help for those times when the cilantro and onions get burped out from deep within?

nate said...

That is a very good mother's day gift, but I believe the Shake Weight is a better choice:
Although this gift might be a little more selfish.

Aaron said...

nate - if we're not supposed to be selfish in our mother's day gift selections, I'd better cancel my "better marriage blanket" order.